Islam Is Against Forced Marriages
Marriage in Islam as well as other religions is a sacred ceremony that brings together two people to cement their love for each other in matrimony.
Marriage is not to be forced upon neither the male nor female by parents or guardians for any sort of reason, the consent of both male and female needs to be taken in to account and the final decision rests on their choice.
The Quran states:
‘And among his wonders is this: he creates for you mates out of your own kind, so that you might incline towards them, and he engenders love and tenderness between you: in this, behold, there are messages indeed for people who think!’ (Quran: 30:21)
Many cases of forced marriages in south Asian families has been due to parents not listening to their child’s wishes and their happiness. In Islam, a child must obey his parents but not if the parent is in the wrong and going against the teachings of Islam.
There is no Islamic obligation to marry upon the choice of the parents unless you wholeheartedly agree with the proposal, and it is not disobedience to the parents if the child rejects the proposal. It clearly states in the Quran,
‘We have commanded man to be good to his parents, but do not obey them if they ascribe partners to me’ (Quran: 29:8)
Many parents have decided to take it upon themselves to make their own rules and wrongly believe it is their Islamic right to force their child into a marriage which their child disagrees with sometimes even using deception as a tool i.e. planning a holiday or saying that a family member is sick only to find out on arrival to the destination that it is in fact a forced marriage taking place.
The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said the one deceives is not from us (Muslim).
Parents need to ask themselves:
- Do I want to see my child happy?
- Do I want my child to resent me if the marriage does not work out?
- Do I want my child running away and being exposed to other dangerous risks?
Arranged marriage and forced marriage are two separate matters that should never be confused, arranged marriage is usually handled by the parents of the child usually with the consent of the son/daughter wanting to find a partner.
We are obliged to change those aspects of our culture that go against our faith, cultural practices are only acceptable if they conform to the Islamic principles. We must work together to help especially the women that are forced into marriage, if you know of anyone that is being forced into marriage please contact Adaala at firstname.lastname@example.org
By Deafening Silence Habib